Image provided by: Ashland School District #5; Ashland, OR
About Southern Oregon miner. (Ashland, Or.) 1935-1946 | View Entire Issue (June 21, 1945)
Southern Oregon Miner, Thursday, June 21, 1945 THOUGHTS ON HORSE RACING Horse racing is a form of compe tition between horses to determine what shape the customers are in. It is a demonstration In durability for all participants except the horses, a . It is a type of sport that combines all the features of a subway jam , a food riot, a Christmas shopping rush and a panic in the madhouse. _• _ A man can get the same sensa tions in any subway station during the rush houi*for a nickel. And In addition he won’t have to listen to any tips that the local can beat the express if the smart money la up. • • Racing is proof of the claim that, for a chance to lose $2 swiftly, a man will undergo all known forms of inconvenience and torture, provid ed they are endured in an aroma of steamed frankfurters, beer, B.O and fresh roasted peanuts. ♦ Once horse racing may have been the Sport of Kings. But the prole tariat has taken over. If * king gets to his seat today with no riba broken you know he had the king’s horses running interference for him. - • Where once a few thousand per sons spent leisurely afternoons, tens of thousands today blitz the tracks, panting, popeyed and perspiring as they reproduce Custer's Last Fight with the tomahawking done in tech nicolor. _» When pari mutuels stepped into American raring brotherly love, or der, dignity, common sense and laws regarding mayhem flew out the window. Window is right! We used to go to the track now and then for recreation. Now we go a couple of times a season to take off weight, test our stamina, and get a fair idea of what Indian warfare was like. We used to see a horse occasional ly. Now we do w ell if we see a horse’s ears. •_ The M I D D L E S ju M D iN 'jt m a G E TD O W N OF” W H A T I F= T H E B E WE W O N 'T B IT E s eve, T M A T C H * ia l IS A M O U S E - - V O U .' P W O O IE /M IC E D O N 'T BU B U N UP PEO PLE'S < L E O S I WAVE y o u E V E R .. KNOW N ANYONE PEBSO NAULV W HO- > Once we watched ’em come down the stretch, neck and neck. Now the best we can do is to get it by loud speaker while hanging onto our watch, pleading for the women and children first and wondering where our hat went. _*_ Once inside it is every man for himself and no accident or health insurance sold on the grounds. • • • TH E JAP LEADERS TO T H E IR EM PEROR We offer our apologies, As planes above you swarm. For putting you upon a spot And making it so warm; We’re sorry bombers do Your royal dwelling skirt; Excuse it, please, if it appears That we have done you dirt! WAD A M O U S E BUN UP e T W E l B . -------- > — O H / OH/ We are so very sorry that You even smell the smoke And that our busy firemen The royal grounds must soak; We abjectly apologize And shed a bitter tear That war we planned so far away Should ever come so near. BOB KARP By * ~ POP—Prepared for Postwar Activities ■ -r -- - *••• f—!—■ By J. MILLAR WATT It is distressing just to know That “ smoke gets in your eyes” — And for each whiff of it we are Glad to apologize; We’re sorry that you had to know The brutal facts of life; We hoped to run this conflict as Our little private strife. Again we do express our grief; We’re broken hearted, too, When we see war so near at hand It's right next door to YOU We didn't plan our war that way It fills us with remorse. So, once more, deep apologies To you and TO YOUR HORSE! President Truman’s old home at independence is being painted. All we hope is that, as President, he wilt get a better paint job than most folks are getting these days. Ye ed had the barn painted twice in the last three years and the first heavy rain washed it off. What are the painters using for paint today? And if so why perpetuate the custom of thinning it out? Good luck, Harry; you’ll need it! • • • “ Hotels will not be permitted to collect service charges on long dis tance phone calls, the U. S. Supreme court announced.” —News item. »_ Wanna bet? • • • Can You Remember— Away buck when a butcher'» wife thought nothing of asking him to bring home a steak? Anti uhen the navy was thought to be the less dangerous branch o/ the service in wartime? Deen eaun sum line inis ior years aiiu ■ m v c i i>u< »»«..*••., Buck’s having a bad time of it again . . . that pilot eats whole box of peanut brittle every time he goes up!*' a • • • The Federal Reserve board is •gainst lifting restrictions against time payments in buying new auto mobiles. It realizes that nevei in history have Americans been so lit tle apprehensive about going into permanent hock.